Spiritually Mature Stress Management

September 27, 2008 | 1 Comment

Do you ever have a day when you look at your calendar and you want to either

a) cry (guys may not want to admit this, but it’s true for me) OR

b) run away to a remote desert island where they serve unlimited mai tais

because you have back-to-back meetings all day AND a pressing project to finish?  This is called stress – too much to do in too little time.  Times like this call us to our highest selves, because this is when the rubber hits the road on the spiritual journey.

It’s important to have a list of coping mechanisms in your back pocket, so to speak, in preparation for days like this.  Since I had one of those days yesterday, I have compiled this list of things to do the next time it happens.  I hope that by writing it down and sharing it with you, both of us can feel better about the next time we face this dilemma.

Here is a list of spiritually mature coping mechanisms for a stressful day:

  1. Cancel or skip one meeting!  Surely there is something in your day that you can give up. Delegate, dismiss or defer the meeting that isn’t both urgent and important.  This alone can reduce your stress. Think of it as setting an example for others as a good way to put boundaries on your time.
  2. Take a moment to go outside.  Walk slowly and mindfully, inhaling and exhaling with the rhythm of your step.  This can ground you immediately.
  3. Ring a chime or bell if you can do so without disturbing others.  Take that moment to simply listen to the beauty of the sound.
  4. Stretch.  Anyone can stretch right in their chair.  Raise your arms above you and reach for the ceiling.  Lean your head down over your knees and let your arms relax to the floor.
  5. Take a moment to meditate or pray. Go to the restroom if you need a moment of privacy.  Meditate on your breath or pray a short prayer.  This is a means to the end of “praying without ceasing.”
  6. Keep a scripture verse or inspirational saying on a small piece of paper.  Put it in your pocket or tack it on your bulletin board.  Read it as if you are reading it with your heart. Get lost in its meaning for just a moment. Let its peace invade your being.
  7. Write or say an affirmation such as, “All my work gets done with ease,” or “I finish my tasks with serenity,” or “God guides my hands and feet as I do my job.”

What are your spiritually mature coping mechanisms for a stressful day?  I’d like to hear from you!


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Take Pride in Your Job

September 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment

clip_image002It was late Friday night at O’Hare airport in Chicago. The plane was a little delayed and all the passengers were tired, crabby and eager to go home, including me. As we entered the aircraft, we were greeted by the first class flight attendant, who had a personality that filled the aircraft! “Welcome aboard, and how are you doing tonight?” he would ask each person as they boarded. I took my seat in first class, delighted that I could observe this flight attendant take command of his aircraft, greet each passenger personally and welcome them onto his flight. When a young mother with a crying toddler came on, he greeted the young girl with, “Honey, it’s your lucky day – you get to fly on my airplane tonight!” As we pulled away from the gate, he continued his banter during the safety briefing announcements, making jokes and wisecracks, and encouraging the other flight attendants to do the same. I was surprised, amused and impressed with this unusual behavior.

I have noticed that since 9/11, flight attendants and other customer-facing employees at this and other major carriers are demoralized, de-motivated and tired. They have faced salary cuts, longer working hours and higher stress, due to the established possibility of terrorism in the skies. They feel stuck in their jobs, victims of a seniority system that makes it impossible to take a new job with another carrier. All of this made the performance of the flight attendant that Friday night unusual and noteworthy.

What was remarkable was how much pride, energy and ownership he put into his job. I come across people from all levels in the org chart who are in similar employment situations to this flight attendant. Because of the economy and the current job shortage, many people today feel stuck and unappreciated in their jobs. In fact, according to Talent Smart, only 15% of all workers, including managers and executives, feel respected and appreciated in their jobs.[1] Rather than complain about a less-than-perfect job situation, it is the responsibility of each worker, from the CEO down to the lowest-paid employee, to take pride in their job and do it to the best of their abilities.

How can you take pride in your job? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Decide to give it 110%: What your mother told you is true: if a job is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Do it to the best of your ability. Own your job output and put your good name on it. You don’t have to love your boss, have the perfect co-workers or the best working conditions to take pride in your work and go the extra mile to ensure high quality results. Notice, however, that we are talking 110%, not 200% percent. I meet many over-achieving executives who have exhausted themselves trying to be all things to all people in a difficult environment. Pace yourself, set priorities, identify the areas that you can exert the most influence and delegate or defer the rest.
  • Exert control over what you can: You may not have control over all aspects of your job, but you can identify areas that you do control and focus on them. The flight attendant had control over the airplanes he flew, and he focused on how he could influence the atmosphere of that environment. You may not be able to influence the performance targets the Vice President sets, for example, but if you are a manager or director, you do have control over how you communicate them to your workgroup. Concentrate on supporting your group so they can do the best work possible. Then try to let go of the need to control what you cannot.
  • Make it fun: We spend too much time at work not to have a little fun at it! The flight attendant customized his safety announcements, using his own talents, to make it fun. Although not everyone is a comedian, we each have a unique approach to humor and having fun. How can you give your co-workers a smile and make their day? How can you lighten up your workplace?
  • Speak and act positively toward co-workers: If you change your attitude and behavior, often other people will change, too. Sometimes people get locked into a negative relationship with a co-worker or manager because of personality differences, miscommunications, annoying personal habits or past affronts. If you find your self in this position and the other person is basically an OK person – not a bully and not acting illegally or unethically – try this experiment for two weeks and see if it makes a difference: Speak and act only positively to that person. Compliment the person when it is warranted. Notice the good things they do. Support them in their job. Do not speak disparagingly about that person to anyone, including your spouse or partner. If you are able to do this for just two weeks, it is highly likely that you will notice that the other person responds in kind, and that you have repaired the situation. The result: a happier, less stressed YOU.
  • Practice extreme self-care: If you are in a high-stress job, take good care of yourself. Self-care is highly individual and dependent on life stage, financial resources and time constraints. Seek ways to manage your stress and balance your energies in ways that make sense for your situation. Simple self-care can include taking time to walk outside at lunchtime, talking to a good friend and having an active social life. Self-care might also include massages, regular exercise, and, ironically, community service. Community service can broaden your perspective by getting you out of your normal environment and can fulfill the human need to serve others.

If successful in applying some of these guidelines, an amazing thing may happen: You may find that by changing YOUR attitude toward work, the work atmosphere changes. Take a lesson from the flight attendant, and you may find that the job you thought was less than perfect is actually pretty darn good!

[1] Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book”


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September 16, 2008

September 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment

I am so excited to tell you about the projects I’m working on and the upcoming offerings to look for here at Brio Leadership. One of my strengths, as identified by the Clifton StrengthsFinder Assessment, is “ideation.” This is a tendency to go through life brainstorming ideas non-stop. I pop ideas like a popcorn popper spews kernels. Although my tendency is toward quantity not quality of ideas, I have a lot of great ideas for this new business, and I think that many of them are terrific!

One of those ideas is to write my second and third books this year. I am privileged to be working with Jan B. King, who is a book publishing expert and coach that I engaged through eWomen Publishing Network. The two books that she is helping write are a Forgiveness Journal and a book with a working title of this newsletter, Brio Leadership.

Is there someone at work who has done something that betrayed your trust? Is there a work incident in the past that makes you upset every time you remember it? Forgiveness can help us move past and get free of these tiresome memories. I know from personal experience that practicing forgiveness in the workplace can improve productivity, creativity and teamwork. Forgiveness can make it fun to come to work, because you know that there won’t be any backbiting, undermining or sabotaging going on, all of which consume enormous amounts of energy, goodwill and mental bandwidth in a team. Our Forgiveness Journal introduces a seven-step process that, once completed by an individual, will set the stage for creating a forgiving atmosphere at work.

If you are interested in the Forgiveness Journal, I invite you to join a small group of advisors to read and review this book. If you volunteer for this important task, you will receive my undying gratitude (that’s priceless!), a free, comb-bound copy of the book and a questionnaire that will guide you through giving me feedback. Plus, you’ll receive a free copy of the book when published. You should be willing to read the book and do most of the exercises. You’ll learn a lot, and will be the first one on your block to own the Forgiveness Journal! Please reply to this newsletter if you are interested, or complete a contact form here.

And, I am about to launch the Everyday Mystic Marketplace! Stay tuned for some of the beautiful products that I’ll be offering there.

Blessings,

Kristin


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