Brio Leadership

Our experience of life is tied up with our interpretation of what happens to us. You can look at the glass as half empty or half full. To live happily or bitterly – that is one of life’s big choices.

You can choose your reaction to whatever experience you have, and in that lies the secret to happiness. Your attitude affects everything you do, say and experience – with special emphasis on everything!

This summer, I am on a speaking tour for a large corporation’s US regional conferences to present the topic of using emotional intelligence to deliver world-class service. One of the topics in my presentation is the power of a positive attitude. Think of some of the customer service interactions you’ve experienced lately – you can always tell if the service provider has a loving, caring attitude toward you, can’t you?

I hope you enjoy this month’s featured article on how to sustain a positive attitude and its benefits to you, your clients, coworkers, families and friends.

All the best,
Kristin

The sports world recently thrilled to the amazing performance of Phil Mickelson winning the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia. Beside the fact that Mickelson presents a family-friendly contrast to his fallen-from-grace chief competitor, Tiger Woods, Mickelson’s victory offers a lesson in the power of the mind in both sports competition and in business. As recently as last summer, Mickelson was coming back after a six-week golf hiatus to care for his cancer-stricken wife and he was surprisingly confident about his ability to re-enter the game in tip-top condition.

“I think that mental rehearsal is every bit as important as physical rehearsal,” he said. He explained that as he was in the hospital at his wife’s side, he would take time during quiet moments to rehearse his shots – to visualize perfect shots in his mind’s eye. Not only did he come back strongly, but only nine months later, he won the Masters.

It is well-known that many top sports competitors use the power of visualization and mental rehearsal to master their game. How can you use that technique in business?

Mental rehearsal is a wonderful technique to enhance your emotional intelligence or EQ. Visualizing an appropriate response to a common business situation helps you practice a new skill in the safest possible setting – your mind.

Here’s why a mental rehearsal works so well. The human brain cannot differentiate between what it imagines and what is actually happening. That explains why you get a lump in your throat when you remember a tragic situation in your past, or how you can increase your blood pressure by just thinking about a colleague who has cheated or lied to you. It is your memory of an incident – or perhaps your anticipation of an incident – that elicits the physical and emotional response in your body. Your mind and body react the same, whether the situation is remembered, imagined or real.

So how can you harness the power of your brain to help you learn new ways to react to situations that in the past would evoke an ineffective response?

As an executive coach, I suggest the following steps to my clients to mentally rehearse a new emotional skill:

1. Think of a recent event in which your response to a situation wasn’t appropriate or optimal. For example, your boss may have criticized your work last week and your response was an angry remark. Or in a meeting you got defensive when a colleague criticized your idea. List as many trigger situations you can think of. Then identify how your body registered a warning signal. It might have been your heart pounding, or sweaty palms. These physical feelings can help you recognize when you are similarly triggered in the future. You might complete a grid that looks like this:

2. Next, visualize pulling down a blank white movie screen in front of your mind’s eye, and playing a movie in which you are the star. The movie is of one scenario from the list you just made – perhaps of the boss criticizing your work. Unlike a movie, you have the power to invoke all your senses:

What does the situation look like, feel like, smell like, taste like and sound like? Imagine, in the greatest detail, what you can do in the future to select a more effective response.

What do you do with your body, say with your words, inflect with your tone of voice?

• Note: A good rule of thumb is to imagine taking a deep breath and smiling before responding. The deep breath oxygenates the brain and gives you a momentary relief of the flight or fight response that you experience. Smiling interrupts your involuntary emotional reaction by tricking the body into thinking it is happy.
• If you are in a private place, you can add to your mental rehearsal by physically taking a deep breath, smiling, and saying the words that you select as a better response.

3. It’s like washing your hair: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat this exercise at your next opportunity: in the car commuting, in the shower or during a quiet moment. The more you rehearse in your mind, the better the outcome.

Will this technique guarantee immediate perfection in your responses and behavior? Of course not, but combined with experience and feedback from a trusted friend or colleague, this approach will help you become adept over time in responding more maturely to situations that, in the past, would have given you trouble. Did Phil Mickelson expect miracles from just mental rehearsal? No, he said that mental rehearsal is “every bit as important as physical rehearsal.”

In other words, mental rehearsal is not a substitute for actual training and playing the game of golf. The same can be observed in business – there is no substitute for experience and the school of hard knocks when it comes to improving your emotional response to situations. However, over time, you can improve your emotional responses just like Mickelson did his golf game. You, too, can win the equivalent of a Masters Tournament in your career with the help of mental rehearsals.

We see it everywhere: the power of your mind to create amazing outcomes. I recently returned from a weekend vacation in New York City, where my husband and I enjoyed the culture, food, sights and sounds of that exciting city. In everything we did – from the tour of the United Nations to seeing a Broadway show to visiting an art museum – the creative power of the human mind was on display. What begins with an idea in someone’s head, like the inspiration to write a play or musical, can become an amazingly beautiful creation that touches many people’s minds and hearts as they experience the outcome of that original thought.

That’s the power I am describing in this month’s featured article about mental rehearsals. I hope you enjoy it and are able to put it to use in your daily life.

All the best,
Kristin

This week is a holy one for many religions – both Easter and Passover are being celebrated. In addition, spring has officially begun in the northern hemisphere, and we turn our faces to the growing light and warmth in our world. What better time to think about incorporating ethics and values into our organizations and companies? This month, we offer our featured article about 5 Ways to Embed Values into your Culture.

If you know others who are interested in incorporating values such as integrity, respect, courage, compassion, forgiveness and creativity in the workplace, please forward this newsletter to them.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” This is true for individuals as well as companies. It speaks directly to the danger in defining organizational values and then failing to align your actions with the values. If the behavior and actions of the leaders of the company do not align with the stated values, all the goodwill that defining core values created is negated. When the walk does not equal the talk, the result is a culture of hypocrisy, distrust, disengagement and lower productivity. You would have been better off not proclaiming the lofty values in the first place.

Companies that are values-driven (those that live by their higher-level values) have more engaged workers, higher productivity, increased creativity and greater longevity than companies that are not concerned with values. Who does not want to proclaim that honesty, respect, integrity, excellence and customer service, for example, are the core values of their company? Put them on your website, make posters to hang in the cafeteria, even print the core values on mouse pads and provide them to all your employees.

That should do it, and then you can forget about corporate values, right?

No, you can not forget about corporate values. Not even for one day. It is when the chips are down – such as in a recession – that all eyes are on the leadership of the company to see if their behavior upholds the core values.

How can you, as a leader, walk the talk of your organizational values? Here are five ways to ensure that your core values are not only espoused, but embedded in the culture of your organization.

1. Define behaviors that exemplify each core value
If actions speak louder than words, why not proactively identify the actions that will enliven each core value? Some companies do this by identifying specific behaviors and actions that correspond to each value. For example, actions that uphold a core value of customer service might be:

• Choose specific individual actions or department decisions that positively impact the customer
• Respond quickly to customer’s needs
• Partner with other departments in the company to create customer-centric processes and services

Some organizations ask each department to define the behaviors and actions that exemplify each of the core values. Once created, they are presented to upper management or a cross-functional Culture Committee for approval and buy-in. This way, all the organizational functions have proactively defined the behaviors necessary to live in alignment with the stated values. It is like rehearsing a scene from a play – you have practiced your lines and your gestures ahead of time so you are ready to perform when the curtain rises. In this case, the performance is daily organizational life.

2. Hire for values
In many instances that I have observed, a newly hired or newly promoted manager fails not because of incompetence but because of a personal misalignment with prevailing company values. Losing a highly-compensated worker is expensive to the company and is obviously hard on the employee. At all levels of the company, it is important to hire with an eye towards values alignment. Jim Collins, in his book entitled Good to Great, calls this “getting the right people on the bus.”

To assess values alignment of job applicants, choose the core values and their defined behaviors that correspond most closely with the position’s requirements. Then devise behaviorally-based interview questions that explore the candidate’s past actions regarding that value. Rate each candidate on those criteria. For example, if one of your core values is Customer Service and a pre-defined behavior for that value is to choose actions that positively impact the customer, ask candidates to share a story about a time that they chose an action or made a decision that impacted a customer. Listen intently to the stories the candidates tell you – did their actions positively impact the customer? Did they have a hard time thinking of a story? Listen to their past experiences to learn what their personal core values might be. Try to envision them operating effectively in your environment.

Before offering a candidate a job, review the core values of the organization and ask them to think about whether they can uphold them or not. The more you talk about your values, the more alive they become. Talking about values with a potential new hire is not too early – in fact, it may make the candidate more eager to accept your job.

3. Tell stories to bring values to life
Leaders of an organization should be storytellers. Stories are a powerful way to communicate cultural norms. To tell a compelling story, leaders should be continually on the look-out for examples of their people doing something right and acting in alignment with the corporate values. Then, tell those stories whenever possible – in the company newsletter, in meetings, in informal conversation.

At a recent all-hands meeting, I observed an executive tell a story about great customer service (a corporate value) provided by an individual within the department. The technician was escorted to a major metropolitan airport by the state police – to fix a problem with the company’s software installed at the airport. Then the executive awarded the technician a prize. The technician exemplified the behaviors associated with great customer service, and the story is now enshrined in the collective memory of that group. The group clearly understands the behaviors that this executive expects and rewards within the group. They also understand how each individual can uphold the corporate values.

4. Model correct decision-making behavior using values as litmus test for action:
The leader casts a long shadow. That means that leaders have a disproportional influence on the behaviors of the group, setting the pace for the entire group. Effective leaders will consciously make decisions according to the corporate values, even when times are tough. Nothing will demoralize a workforce faster than decisions that are contrary to the espoused values of the corporation. Case in point: In the ninth week of the quarter, the CEO sees that sales are lagging for the quarter. Will the CEO exhort the sales force to “Do whatever it takes to get the sale!” or will she return to corporate values and encourage the sales force to see the big picture and sell according to the values of the company? When the chips are down, it is the leader’s actions that will make or break the corporate culture.

5. Evaluate and reward employees according to corporate values
Do both your performance evaluation system and compensation structure align with the values of your organization? If they do not, you cannot expect to lead a values-driven organization. For example, if you say that you value work/life balance, but your professional service consultant s bonus payment kicks in only after they bill an unreasonable number of days per month, you are motivating behavior that is out of alignment with your stated values. Instruct your HR people to create compensation structures that motivate values-driven behavior. Give them a copy of the values statements and the defined behaviors and request updated compensation programs.

In addition, make sure that your performance evaluation process enhances values-driven behavior. Include the core values on the performance evaluation form and have each manager rate their employees on their ability to perform accordingly.

Many companies use 360o feedback instruments to help their executives improve their performance. These assessments seek input from the executives’ direct reports, peers and boss (hence the 360o title). Instead of using boilerplate feedback questions, customize the questionnaires to include values-based questions that determine how closely the leaders’ actions track with corporate values. In all our executive coaching programs, Brio Leadership uses an interview-based 360o feedback instrument that can be customized to reflect corporate values. These interviews produce highly actionable data that leaders can use to improve their performance.

Walk the talk – make sure your corporate values are embedded in the culture of your organization. The result will be evident in the engagement, loyalty and productivity or your workforce.

Brio Leadership offers a Cultural Values Assessment that measures the operational and desired values in the organization. This assessment illustrates both the strengths and weaknesses of your organization and can be a catalyst for positive change. For more information, contact us at 817-577-7030.

As the unemployment rate hovers near 10%, there are many discouraged job seekers. This month’s featured article will give you hope that you can find not only a new job, but one that really resonates with your heart’s desires.

As I coach and mentor job seekers and corporate executives, I realize again the power of thoughts and intentions. It is true that what you think about, comes about! I hope you enjoy this month’s interview with a successful job seeker.

If you know others who are interested in incorporating values such as integrity, respect, courage, compassion, forgiveness and creativity in the workplace, please share this website with them!

A good friend graciously allowed me to interview her about her recent job search.  Hers is a story of losing her job, forgiving her past employer and finding another, even-better job.  There are many lessons in it for you and for me.  I’ll let her tell it in the following question and answer format:

Kristin: Tell us about your job loss last winter.

My Friend: I worked at a very well respected company, probably the top in my field.  When I was originally recruited to work there, I was extremely flattered.  But while I was well liked by my peers and respected by many, I never really felt comfortable working for such a large organization.  The huge management structure, the inevitable politics and bureaucracy were not really me.

When the economy took a dive, the pressure was on.  Corporate told us that there would need to be some cuts.  My manager, whom I adored, was let go. There was a re-org at the end of 2008 and then I just knew, but could never confirm – I was on ‘THE LIST’.  I lived for weeks of uncertainty that turned into a 3-month waiting game.

Finally, I was laid off last March.  While I was resentful on how they secretly planned it and communicated the news to me, I felt relieved.  The uncertainty was over; I now knew what action I needed to take. Networking!

K: It seems to me that you got over being resentful of your past employer faster than others I have coached and mentored.  What’s your secret?

MF: Kristin, you’ve commented many times about my ability to forgive my last employer.  I never saw it as forgiveness but rather simply moving on.  Even early on in my job search, I secretly thanked my former employer for letting me go. I knew I wasn’t happy in that environment but was paralyzed by the shaky economy and too mesmerized by working at #1 to go looking for a new job.  They forced me out – like a mother bird forces her hatchling out to fly.

K: What was your approach to finding the perfect job?

MF: I don’t know my ‘life’s purpose’ so I can only be the best person I can be.  I consider myself spiritual, but not religious.  I do a lot of reading – for business, for thinking and for fun.  I stumbled on the Law of Attraction through a study group I was involved in and it just resonated with me.  I learned that what you think about and focus on often happens. So, instead of focusing on past hurts, I decided to focus on the present and the future.

I started doing little things like visualizing a sunny day for my daughter’s birthday pool party.  The day of the party, it rained all morning, but by the time the party was about to begin, we had warm, sunny skies. With that kind of success under my belt, I applied the lessons to my job search.

K: You had some early successes that gave you courage – then what did you do to focus on your job search?

MF: I decided to only go after what resonated with me.  I was lucky that I had savings and had COBRA (continuation of medical insurance coverage), but I also had FAITH that I would get a job I wanted. When I thought about a particular job with a particular type of company with a particular product, I felt myself get excited.  When I told people what I wanted to do, I found I would speak faster and become more animated.  I don’t know why I felt that way and I spent many hours trying to understand it. I resonated with this type of position, so I spent time visualizing it and examining what made me so passionate about it.

I pursued one company and ended up being their #2 choice.  That bit of news set me back emotionally for a few days.  But, I moved on and kept telling myself, “There’s a reason why that one didn’t work out and the right one will!” I even had the gumption to say to more than one person, “I really want to take the summer off to be with the kids, then by the end of the summer, I’ll have a couple of job offers so I can chose the right one.”  On August 29th, I got my first job offer and a week later, got a second.

K: Isn’t that interesting that your words became a self-fulfilling prophesy!

MF: That’s right!  And what’s more amazing is that I landed at a company that was exactly as I visualized if not better.  It is a smaller organization but with some benefits I was surprised they offered.  They have an extremely experienced management team that, so far, seems to have no hidden agenda.  They share and treat me as a valued part of the organization. I am thankful to be there.

K: As we finish up, what words of wisdom do you have for job seekers and others who are trying to follow their dreams?

MF: If you take anything from reading this, my message is simple: Let go of the past, thank it for teaching you a life experience – albeit not a pleasant one, but one that helps you know what you DON’T want and will help you appreciate where you land next.  Focus on what you do want – visualize it clearly – and have faith that you will get it.  Make a decision that resonates with your highest values, your highest self – you’ll know it when you see it!  Until then, be patient.  My best wishes for you all!

K: Thanks so much, good friend, for your insight and wisdom.

Kristin Robertson of Brio Leadership loves to interview friends for this newsletter and blog.  If you have a workplace story to tell about values in action, such as forgiveness, positive thoughts, compassion and integrity, please contact Kristin here.

The year 2009 is almost over and the holidays are here. I hope you take time to look back over the year, note all the good things that have happened to you and be grateful for them. For many, 2009 was a difficult year economically, and simply surviving it could be a tremendous accomplishment to be celebrated. Whatever your situation, I hope you take time this season to practice generosity. This month’s featured article discusses how being generous makes you feel good and draws benefits to you. Keep this in mind as you close up the year: How can you be generous in sharing your time, your talent and your treasure with others, both now and in the new year.

Have a wonderful holiday season and happy new year!

During the holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in “to-do list mania”: buying presents, preparing for parties, dashing to the kid’s special programs and getting next year’s budget completed at the office. In all that busy-ness, it is important to get off the treadmill, feed the spirit and take time to remember one of the enduring themes that runs through all the religious holidays of this season: Remember to be generous. Remember the gifts of the Magi, the gifts of the Little Drummer Boy. Remember the miracles that are enshrined in the holiday stories – the Hanukkah miracle of lamp oil lasting for eight nights, the miracle of the Christ child’s birth, the miracle of the Buddha’s enlightenment. All of these are gifts of the spirit, freely given to us. Practicing generosity is the best way to give thanks for the gifts of the spirit: we pass on our blessings to others.

Generosity comes in many forms. You can give of your time, your treasure and/or your talent. Generosity is not just gifts of money. It can be the time that you donate to work for a worthy cause, to speak to someone who is worried, to visit a friend or acquaintance in the hospital, or to simply exchange smiles with another. Time is precious, and it can be a huge source of generosity. You share your time and your talent when you volunteer to lead a non-profit fundraiser, tutor a child, coach your daughter’s soccer team or help a struggling business.

What does generosity look like for my family and my business? It is paying people who work for us an above-market wage, tipping generously and giving ten percent or more of our income each year to charities and non-profit organizations. It is donating my time and talent to worthy causes. I volunteer and hold leadership positions at church and on non-profit boards. I am involved in my community. I serve the local HDI chapter as an officer. I run my business on the principles of generosity and giving back, and everything I have given has blessed me many times over. It is the right thing to do, while at the same time, it blesses the giver as well as the recipient.

Your time, talent and treasure are each representations of energy. When energy is dammed up and not allowed to flow, it disintegrates, like a battery that sits on the shelf and is never used. Think of how love, another form of energy, multiplies when you give it away. The more love you give to others, the more you recieve. Time, talent and treasure operate the same way – each is enhanced by allowing it to flow outward from you. When you bless others by giving money to worthy causes, whether that be a generous tip to the hair dresser, a check to a family member who is in financial distress or a donation to a church or non-profit organization, you set up a flow of energy that ultimately comes back to bless you. In the meantime, you feel the satisfaction of knowing that your money has helped others.

It’s not quite the same when you hoard money, time and talent or spend it entirely on self interests. Instead of flowing freely through a circuit, the flow gets damned up because it is not going anywhere. There is nothing wrong with having nice things or focusing on your career, but buying a fancy new car for yourself does not set up the chain of blessing that giving away money or volunteering for a charity does. Buying a new car has a different feel and purpose to it – you don’t get the same satisfaction you get when giving to a cause that is bigger than yourself. You don’t set up the circular flow of energy that comes from gifting your time, talent or treasure to a church, charity, or other needy person.

When I get concerned about money, I counter the anxiety by donating some money to people or causes. For example, when I was on sabbatical 2 years ago, cash flow was a challenge because I wasn’t bringing in revenue for my business. Many people are in the same situation during this holiday season – money might be a little tight in your home due to layoffs or the general economic slowdown. The local public radio station did a pledge drive during that time, and I decided to give generously even though my income was severely reduced. And, my husband and I hosted a reception and brunch for our extended family during a family reunion because we knew it was the right thing to do. These acts of giving were done with love and gratitude in our hearts. My husband simply said, “It was the right thing to do.”

Several days after returning from the family reunion, there were two unexpected checks in the mail that equaled the amounts that we had recently spent on family and charities. We started the blessing, and it was returned to us. When you give out of the goodness of your heart, you are blessed in ways, whether monetary or otherwise, that you can’t imagine.

This holiday season, remember to practice generosity. It feels good to give generously of your time, talent or treasure this month to some cause that is making a difference in your community. Be generous with the people you meet – if it’s only a smile you can share, share generously! Help others in both small and large ways. In this way, we celebrate the true meaning of the holidays.

Today, leaders must deal with complexity, ambiguity and constant change. If leaders are to be successful, they must possess not only mental maturity, but also maturity of heart, mind and the human spirit. Tall order for us mere mortals, huh? The good news is that transformational leaders, those who truly make a difference, are developed, not born. How can you become a transformational leader? New research is showing surprising answers to this question.

Individuals who achieve more advanced stages of adult development are more effective leaders, according to the research of many visionary thinkers. Dr. Daniel Goleman has extensively documented the positive effect of improved emotional intelligence, one measurement of adult development, on leadership performance. Other researchers have created models of adult development, such as Bill Torbert, Susanne Cook-Greuter, Richard Barrett and Jim Collins (author of “Good to Great”). Their work demonstrates that an individual who can think globally, act with wisdom and compassion, and create climates of innovation is more effective in business. And, the proof is in the organizations they lead, which enjoy organizational longevity, positive work environments, long-term profitability and high stakeholder value.

Therefore, it behooves any leader who aspires to become a transformational leader to look inside himself and focus on his own personal development. The results will be reflected in the quality of that leader’s life and in the performance of his organization. By working on his own mental, emotional, physical and spiritual development, the leader will affect change in the life of his organization.

Please note: Leaders are found at all levels of an organization and in all walks of life; leadership is not the exclusive domain of managers and executives. Some of the most effective leaders I know do not have a managerial title, but lead by their example, their maturity and their ability to speak the truth. Be a leader from wherever you sit!

Here are five ways to develop yourself on the inside so you become a more effective leader on the outside:

1. Increase your self awareness.
All personal growth begins with self-awareness. The plethora of individual assessments currently on the market attests to the basic human desire and need to learn more about yourself. Leadership assessments, like the Leadership Values Assessment that Brio Leadership can administer, can be very helpful in gaining a better understanding of your skills and strengths. Other assessments that might prove useful are StrengthsFinder (you can access the online assessment with the code found in the book, StrengthsFinder 2.0) and the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal (also available online with the code found in the Emotional Intelligence Quickbook).

In order to understand yourself more clearly, you need to seek out other people’s perception of you. Ken Blanchard says, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” This is because we cannot fully know ourselves through self-observation – the view is too recursive. Consider engaging a coach or your human resources department to conduct a 360o survey that solicits input about your strengths and blindspots from your boss, peers and employees. (Brio Leadership offers such a feedback mechanism in its coaching services.) Put the feedback through a calm filter of truth and make changes where it is warranted. Thank the people who participated in the survey and report the results to them. That way, they will be encouraged to provide feedback in the future.

2. Increase your emotional maturity.
Read books on emotional intelligence, such as “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman or “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, and Patrick M. Lencioni. Identify the emotional triggers that cause you to react inappropriately, consider a variety of more effective responses and repeatedly visualize yourself choosing one of the more effective actions. Train yourself to pause before reacting to an emotional trigger so you can choose a considered response.

3. Embrace “both/and” thinking.
“Both/and” thinking is a way to hold ambiguity in your mind and not reduce a complex situation to black and white solutions. It is the opposite of dualistic thinking, which focuses too narrowly on dichotomies such as right/wrong and either/or. Instead, consider shades of gray and possibilities that are foreign to you. This will improve your ability to innovate and make more informed, rather than knee-jerk, decisions. Try to understand people who think differently than you do. Accept complexity and have the patience to wait for a solution to present itself. Listen deeply for the hidden meaning in what people say to you.

4. Eschew fear-based decision-making.
Learn to be a non-anxious presence – a presence that does not get sucked into negative emotions, judgments or worry. Do not wrap a blanket of fear and limited thinking around you. Instead, be positive and forward-looking, expecting the best from people and situations. Before making a decision, ask yourself, what would be the most compassionate response to this dilemma? What would Jesus – or Buddha, Moses, Gandhi, Mother Theresa (fill in your compassionate role model’s name here) – do in this situation? What can I do to serve the greater good?

5. Think globally, act locally – in that order.
Transformational leaders are always looking at the BIG big picture. They not only consider the welfare of their team and their company, but they include the welfare of all stakeholders, the community and the next generation. These are the people who are looking to leave a legacy of compassion, enduring values and innovation in their organizations. They think of the big picture, then act locally in a way that serves the common good. Questions to ask yourself are: How can I act in a way that serves the common good? How can I transcend my own self-interest in order to create something that will outlast my lifetime?

Transformational leadership begins on the inside, with your heart, mind, body and human spirit. You, too, can become a transformational leader!