Brio Leadership

Whether you like it or not, your attitude affects everything you think about, say and do. Your attitude speaks louder than words; people around you sense your attitude without a grand announcement on your part. If you do all the “right things” but do them with a poor attitude, people will sense the attitude and ignore the proper behavior.

Understanding this is essential to delivering world-class customer service. You can learn a gazillion techniques to deliver excellent service, but if you perform them with an air of negativity, boredom or a lack of caring, the attitude is communicated most strongly and the techniques are ineffective. Your customers will perceive you as phony or fake as you go through the motions of providing great service by rote.

Developing a positive attitude affects other aspects of your life. When you are optimistic, good things tend to happen to you. The creative power of your mind draws similar experiences to you – positive draws positive, negative draws negative. When you focus on the negative, you notice unpleasant things. You interpret events with a pessimistic twist.

Choosing a positive outlook has the opposite effect – you begin to notice the pleasantries of the day and view events with optimism and hope. Your attitude determines whether you will have a happy or a miserable day.

What really is a positive attitude? Like many things, you know it when you see it. It is an optimistic outlook on life. It is an appreciative approach to your co-workers and clients. It is being grateful for the present moment. It is feeling like life is full of promise and there are good people everywhere.

Some people are innately positive and they don’t need to work at it. They just skip through life with a smile on their face, knowing that the glass is always half full. Other people are not naturally so cheerful and need reminders to choose a positive attitude. The best way to develop a positive attitude is to create structures or habits that support optimism.

The morning is a good time for most people to practice a positive attitude habit. You might consider any of the following suggestions to set your intention for a positive attitude that lingers the whole day:

1. Take some quiet time in the morning to read, meditate, pray, write in a journal, ponder life over a cup of coffee or sit outside for a few minutes. Some people find reading poetry, spiritual writings or a self-help book puts them in a positive frame of mind for the rest of the day.
2. Sing along with the music on the car radio on your way to work. Sing only happy tunes.
3. As you walk into the office, remember all the things you appreciate about your customers, your co-workers, your boss and your company.
4. Count your blessings on the way to work. Make it a habit to acknowledge new things everyday – not just the same old refrain of “I’m grateful for my spouse, my kids, my car, my home, etc.” In looking for something new to appreciate, you will be forced to notice the small moments in daily life that are truly gifts of happiness. Examples of small gifts of happiness include the smile you get from the barista at Starbucks, the kind email you receive from a co-worker, the compliment on your presentation you get from your boss, the appreciation your clients give you when you solve a problem for them, the wisdom that comes from a young child.

During the day, you can practice these suggestions to maintain your positive attitude:

1. Remember to smile often, even when you are grumpy. Smiling tricks the body into thinking that it is happy and counter-acts the fight-or-flight reaction that you have when you are stressed. Try it – it’s amazingly effective. If you talk to customers on the phone, get into a habit of smiling before answering the telephone. Your smile is heard in your voice and sets the tone for the entire conversation.
2. Take breaks in your day to practice self care: Take a walk outside, eat your lunch away from your desk, remember to take a deep breathe when stressed. Meditate, pray, or do yoga in a quiet corner (sometimes the restroom is the only private place I can find in a busy day at the office). Dr. Herbert Benson, in the “Relaxation Response” calls these moments “mini-relaxation responses” or just mini’s – short moments when you relax by breathing deeply and meditatively calm your mind.
3. Focus on your heart. Your heart is a stronger oscillating power than your brain, as measured by each organ’s electromagnetic force. When you entrain your brain waves and heart waves to oscillate together, you reduce your stress and enhance your decision-making capacities. Focusing on your heart will draw your over-tired brain into coherence with your heart and enable you to renew your positive attitude. Focus on your heart by putting your hand on your heart, listening to your heartbeat and imagine that you are breathing from that space. Think of something that invokes an appreciative feeling for you, such as your pet, someone who loves you unconditionally (people often think of grandparents) or just sitting in nature.

These practices help you achieve and maintain a positive approach to life. In following these suggestions, you will find your day goes smoother and your relations are more harmonious, both at the office and at home.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” This is true for individuals as well as companies. It speaks directly to the danger in defining organizational values and then failing to align your actions with the values. If the behavior and actions of the leaders of the company do not align with the stated values, all the goodwill that defining core values created is negated. When the walk does not equal the talk, the result is a culture of hypocrisy, distrust, disengagement and lower productivity. You would have been better off not proclaiming the lofty values in the first place.

Companies that are values-driven (those that live by their higher-level values) have more engaged workers, higher productivity, increased creativity and greater longevity than companies that are not concerned with values. Who does not want to proclaim that honesty, respect, integrity, excellence and customer service, for example, are the core values of their company? Put them on your website, make posters to hang in the cafeteria, even print the core values on mouse pads and provide them to all your employees.

That should do it, and then you can forget about corporate values, right?

No, you can not forget about corporate values. Not even for one day. It is when the chips are down – such as in a recession – that all eyes are on the leadership of the company to see if their behavior upholds the core values.

How can you, as a leader, walk the talk of your organizational values? Here are five ways to ensure that your core values are not only espoused, but embedded in the culture of your organization.

1. Define behaviors that exemplify each core value
If actions speak louder than words, why not proactively identify the actions that will enliven each core value? Some companies do this by identifying specific behaviors and actions that correspond to each value. For example, actions that uphold a core value of customer service might be:

• Choose specific individual actions or department decisions that positively impact the customer
• Respond quickly to customer’s needs
• Partner with other departments in the company to create customer-centric processes and services

Some organizations ask each department to define the behaviors and actions that exemplify each of the core values. Once created, they are presented to upper management or a cross-functional Culture Committee for approval and buy-in. This way, all the organizational functions have proactively defined the behaviors necessary to live in alignment with the stated values. It is like rehearsing a scene from a play – you have practiced your lines and your gestures ahead of time so you are ready to perform when the curtain rises. In this case, the performance is daily organizational life.

2. Hire for values
In many instances that I have observed, a newly hired or newly promoted manager fails not because of incompetence but because of a personal misalignment with prevailing company values. Losing a highly-compensated worker is expensive to the company and is obviously hard on the employee. At all levels of the company, it is important to hire with an eye towards values alignment. Jim Collins, in his book entitled Good to Great, calls this “getting the right people on the bus.”

To assess values alignment of job applicants, choose the core values and their defined behaviors that correspond most closely with the position’s requirements. Then devise behaviorally-based interview questions that explore the candidate’s past actions regarding that value. Rate each candidate on those criteria. For example, if one of your core values is Customer Service and a pre-defined behavior for that value is to choose actions that positively impact the customer, ask candidates to share a story about a time that they chose an action or made a decision that impacted a customer. Listen intently to the stories the candidates tell you – did their actions positively impact the customer? Did they have a hard time thinking of a story? Listen to their past experiences to learn what their personal core values might be. Try to envision them operating effectively in your environment.

Before offering a candidate a job, review the core values of the organization and ask them to think about whether they can uphold them or not. The more you talk about your values, the more alive they become. Talking about values with a potential new hire is not too early – in fact, it may make the candidate more eager to accept your job.

3. Tell stories to bring values to life
Leaders of an organization should be storytellers. Stories are a powerful way to communicate cultural norms. To tell a compelling story, leaders should be continually on the look-out for examples of their people doing something right and acting in alignment with the corporate values. Then, tell those stories whenever possible – in the company newsletter, in meetings, in informal conversation.

At a recent all-hands meeting, I observed an executive tell a story about great customer service (a corporate value) provided by an individual within the department. The technician was escorted to a major metropolitan airport by the state police – to fix a problem with the company’s software installed at the airport. Then the executive awarded the technician a prize. The technician exemplified the behaviors associated with great customer service, and the story is now enshrined in the collective memory of that group. The group clearly understands the behaviors that this executive expects and rewards within the group. They also understand how each individual can uphold the corporate values.

4. Model correct decision-making behavior using values as litmus test for action:
The leader casts a long shadow. That means that leaders have a disproportional influence on the behaviors of the group, setting the pace for the entire group. Effective leaders will consciously make decisions according to the corporate values, even when times are tough. Nothing will demoralize a workforce faster than decisions that are contrary to the espoused values of the corporation. Case in point: In the ninth week of the quarter, the CEO sees that sales are lagging for the quarter. Will the CEO exhort the sales force to “Do whatever it takes to get the sale!” or will she return to corporate values and encourage the sales force to see the big picture and sell according to the values of the company? When the chips are down, it is the leader’s actions that will make or break the corporate culture.

5. Evaluate and reward employees according to corporate values
Do both your performance evaluation system and compensation structure align with the values of your organization? If they do not, you cannot expect to lead a values-driven organization. For example, if you say that you value work/life balance, but your professional service consultant s bonus payment kicks in only after they bill an unreasonable number of days per month, you are motivating behavior that is out of alignment with your stated values. Instruct your HR people to create compensation structures that motivate values-driven behavior. Give them a copy of the values statements and the defined behaviors and request updated compensation programs.

In addition, make sure that your performance evaluation process enhances values-driven behavior. Include the core values on the performance evaluation form and have each manager rate their employees on their ability to perform accordingly.

Many companies use 360o feedback instruments to help their executives improve their performance. These assessments seek input from the executives’ direct reports, peers and boss (hence the 360o title). Instead of using boilerplate feedback questions, customize the questionnaires to include values-based questions that determine how closely the leaders’ actions track with corporate values. In all our executive coaching programs, Brio Leadership uses an interview-based 360o feedback instrument that can be customized to reflect corporate values. These interviews produce highly actionable data that leaders can use to improve their performance.

Walk the talk – make sure your corporate values are embedded in the culture of your organization. The result will be evident in the engagement, loyalty and productivity or your workforce.

Brio Leadership offers a Cultural Values Assessment that measures the operational and desired values in the organization. This assessment illustrates both the strengths and weaknesses of your organization and can be a catalyst for positive change. For more information, contact us at 817-577-7030.

A good friend graciously allowed me to interview her about her recent job search.  Hers is a story of losing her job, forgiving her past employer and finding another, even-better job.  There are many lessons in it for you and for me.  I’ll let her tell it in the following question and answer format:

Kristin: Tell us about your job loss last winter.

My Friend: I worked at a very well respected company, probably the top in my field.  When I was originally recruited to work there, I was extremely flattered.  But while I was well liked by my peers and respected by many, I never really felt comfortable working for such a large organization.  The huge management structure, the inevitable politics and bureaucracy were not really me.

When the economy took a dive, the pressure was on.  Corporate told us that there would need to be some cuts.  My manager, whom I adored, was let go. There was a re-org at the end of 2008 and then I just knew, but could never confirm – I was on ‘THE LIST’.  I lived for weeks of uncertainty that turned into a 3-month waiting game.

Finally, I was laid off last March.  While I was resentful on how they secretly planned it and communicated the news to me, I felt relieved.  The uncertainty was over; I now knew what action I needed to take. Networking!

K: It seems to me that you got over being resentful of your past employer faster than others I have coached and mentored.  What’s your secret?

MF: Kristin, you’ve commented many times about my ability to forgive my last employer.  I never saw it as forgiveness but rather simply moving on.  Even early on in my job search, I secretly thanked my former employer for letting me go. I knew I wasn’t happy in that environment but was paralyzed by the shaky economy and too mesmerized by working at #1 to go looking for a new job.  They forced me out – like a mother bird forces her hatchling out to fly.

K: What was your approach to finding the perfect job?

MF: I don’t know my ‘life’s purpose’ so I can only be the best person I can be.  I consider myself spiritual, but not religious.  I do a lot of reading – for business, for thinking and for fun.  I stumbled on the Law of Attraction through a study group I was involved in and it just resonated with me.  I learned that what you think about and focus on often happens. So, instead of focusing on past hurts, I decided to focus on the present and the future.

I started doing little things like visualizing a sunny day for my daughter’s birthday pool party.  The day of the party, it rained all morning, but by the time the party was about to begin, we had warm, sunny skies. With that kind of success under my belt, I applied the lessons to my job search.

K: You had some early successes that gave you courage – then what did you do to focus on your job search?

MF: I decided to only go after what resonated with me.  I was lucky that I had savings and had COBRA (continuation of medical insurance coverage), but I also had FAITH that I would get a job I wanted. When I thought about a particular job with a particular type of company with a particular product, I felt myself get excited.  When I told people what I wanted to do, I found I would speak faster and become more animated.  I don’t know why I felt that way and I spent many hours trying to understand it. I resonated with this type of position, so I spent time visualizing it and examining what made me so passionate about it.

I pursued one company and ended up being their #2 choice.  That bit of news set me back emotionally for a few days.  But, I moved on and kept telling myself, “There’s a reason why that one didn’t work out and the right one will!” I even had the gumption to say to more than one person, “I really want to take the summer off to be with the kids, then by the end of the summer, I’ll have a couple of job offers so I can chose the right one.”  On August 29th, I got my first job offer and a week later, got a second.

K: Isn’t that interesting that your words became a self-fulfilling prophesy!

MF: That’s right!  And what’s more amazing is that I landed at a company that was exactly as I visualized if not better.  It is a smaller organization but with some benefits I was surprised they offered.  They have an extremely experienced management team that, so far, seems to have no hidden agenda.  They share and treat me as a valued part of the organization. I am thankful to be there.

K: As we finish up, what words of wisdom do you have for job seekers and others who are trying to follow their dreams?

MF: If you take anything from reading this, my message is simple: Let go of the past, thank it for teaching you a life experience – albeit not a pleasant one, but one that helps you know what you DON’T want and will help you appreciate where you land next.  Focus on what you do want – visualize it clearly – and have faith that you will get it.  Make a decision that resonates with your highest values, your highest self – you’ll know it when you see it!  Until then, be patient.  My best wishes for you all!

K: Thanks so much, good friend, for your insight and wisdom.

Kristin Robertson of Brio Leadership loves to interview friends for this newsletter and blog.  If you have a workplace story to tell about values in action, such as forgiveness, positive thoughts, compassion and integrity, please contact Kristin here.

During the holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in “to-do list mania”: buying presents, preparing for parties, dashing to the kid’s special programs and getting next year’s budget completed at the office. In all that busy-ness, it is important to get off the treadmill, feed the spirit and take time to remember one of the enduring themes that runs through all the religious holidays of this season: Remember to be generous. Remember the gifts of the Magi, the gifts of the Little Drummer Boy. Remember the miracles that are enshrined in the holiday stories – the Hanukkah miracle of lamp oil lasting for eight nights, the miracle of the Christ child’s birth, the miracle of the Buddha’s enlightenment. All of these are gifts of the spirit, freely given to us. Practicing generosity is the best way to give thanks for the gifts of the spirit: we pass on our blessings to others.

Generosity comes in many forms. You can give of your time, your treasure and/or your talent. Generosity is not just gifts of money. It can be the time that you donate to work for a worthy cause, to speak to someone who is worried, to visit a friend or acquaintance in the hospital, or to simply exchange smiles with another. Time is precious, and it can be a huge source of generosity. You share your time and your talent when you volunteer to lead a non-profit fundraiser, tutor a child, coach your daughter’s soccer team or help a struggling business.

What does generosity look like for my family and my business? It is paying people who work for us an above-market wage, tipping generously and giving ten percent or more of our income each year to charities and non-profit organizations. It is donating my time and talent to worthy causes. I volunteer and hold leadership positions at church and on non-profit boards. I am involved in my community. I serve the local HDI chapter as an officer. I run my business on the principles of generosity and giving back, and everything I have given has blessed me many times over. It is the right thing to do, while at the same time, it blesses the giver as well as the recipient.

Your time, talent and treasure are each representations of energy. When energy is dammed up and not allowed to flow, it disintegrates, like a battery that sits on the shelf and is never used. Think of how love, another form of energy, multiplies when you give it away. The more love you give to others, the more you recieve. Time, talent and treasure operate the same way – each is enhanced by allowing it to flow outward from you. When you bless others by giving money to worthy causes, whether that be a generous tip to the hair dresser, a check to a family member who is in financial distress or a donation to a church or non-profit organization, you set up a flow of energy that ultimately comes back to bless you. In the meantime, you feel the satisfaction of knowing that your money has helped others.

It’s not quite the same when you hoard money, time and talent or spend it entirely on self interests. Instead of flowing freely through a circuit, the flow gets damned up because it is not going anywhere. There is nothing wrong with having nice things or focusing on your career, but buying a fancy new car for yourself does not set up the chain of blessing that giving away money or volunteering for a charity does. Buying a new car has a different feel and purpose to it – you don’t get the same satisfaction you get when giving to a cause that is bigger than yourself. You don’t set up the circular flow of energy that comes from gifting your time, talent or treasure to a church, charity, or other needy person.

When I get concerned about money, I counter the anxiety by donating some money to people or causes. For example, when I was on sabbatical 2 years ago, cash flow was a challenge because I wasn’t bringing in revenue for my business. Many people are in the same situation during this holiday season – money might be a little tight in your home due to layoffs or the general economic slowdown. The local public radio station did a pledge drive during that time, and I decided to give generously even though my income was severely reduced. And, my husband and I hosted a reception and brunch for our extended family during a family reunion because we knew it was the right thing to do. These acts of giving were done with love and gratitude in our hearts. My husband simply said, “It was the right thing to do.”

Several days after returning from the family reunion, there were two unexpected checks in the mail that equaled the amounts that we had recently spent on family and charities. We started the blessing, and it was returned to us. When you give out of the goodness of your heart, you are blessed in ways, whether monetary or otherwise, that you can’t imagine.

This holiday season, remember to practice generosity. It feels good to give generously of your time, talent or treasure this month to some cause that is making a difference in your community. Be generous with the people you meet – if it’s only a smile you can share, share generously! Help others in both small and large ways. In this way, we celebrate the true meaning of the holidays.

Today, leaders must deal with complexity, ambiguity and constant change. If leaders are to be successful, they must possess not only mental maturity, but also maturity of heart, mind and the human spirit. Tall order for us mere mortals, huh? The good news is that transformational leaders, those who truly make a difference, are developed, not born. How can you become a transformational leader? New research is showing surprising answers to this question.

Individuals who achieve more advanced stages of adult development are more effective leaders, according to the research of many visionary thinkers. Dr. Daniel Goleman has extensively documented the positive effect of improved emotional intelligence, one measurement of adult development, on leadership performance. Other researchers have created models of adult development, such as Bill Torbert, Susanne Cook-Greuter, Richard Barrett and Jim Collins (author of “Good to Great”). Their work demonstrates that an individual who can think globally, act with wisdom and compassion, and create climates of innovation is more effective in business. And, the proof is in the organizations they lead, which enjoy organizational longevity, positive work environments, long-term profitability and high stakeholder value.

Therefore, it behooves any leader who aspires to become a transformational leader to look inside himself and focus on his own personal development. The results will be reflected in the quality of that leader’s life and in the performance of his organization. By working on his own mental, emotional, physical and spiritual development, the leader will affect change in the life of his organization.

Please note: Leaders are found at all levels of an organization and in all walks of life; leadership is not the exclusive domain of managers and executives. Some of the most effective leaders I know do not have a managerial title, but lead by their example, their maturity and their ability to speak the truth. Be a leader from wherever you sit!

Here are five ways to develop yourself on the inside so you become a more effective leader on the outside:

1. Increase your self awareness.
All personal growth begins with self-awareness. The plethora of individual assessments currently on the market attests to the basic human desire and need to learn more about yourself. Leadership assessments, like the Leadership Values Assessment that Brio Leadership can administer, can be very helpful in gaining a better understanding of your skills and strengths. Other assessments that might prove useful are StrengthsFinder (you can access the online assessment with the code found in the book, StrengthsFinder 2.0) and the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal (also available online with the code found in the Emotional Intelligence Quickbook).

In order to understand yourself more clearly, you need to seek out other people’s perception of you. Ken Blanchard says, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” This is because we cannot fully know ourselves through self-observation – the view is too recursive. Consider engaging a coach or your human resources department to conduct a 360o survey that solicits input about your strengths and blindspots from your boss, peers and employees. (Brio Leadership offers such a feedback mechanism in its coaching services.) Put the feedback through a calm filter of truth and make changes where it is warranted. Thank the people who participated in the survey and report the results to them. That way, they will be encouraged to provide feedback in the future.

2. Increase your emotional maturity.
Read books on emotional intelligence, such as “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman or “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, and Patrick M. Lencioni. Identify the emotional triggers that cause you to react inappropriately, consider a variety of more effective responses and repeatedly visualize yourself choosing one of the more effective actions. Train yourself to pause before reacting to an emotional trigger so you can choose a considered response.

3. Embrace “both/and” thinking.
“Both/and” thinking is a way to hold ambiguity in your mind and not reduce a complex situation to black and white solutions. It is the opposite of dualistic thinking, which focuses too narrowly on dichotomies such as right/wrong and either/or. Instead, consider shades of gray and possibilities that are foreign to you. This will improve your ability to innovate and make more informed, rather than knee-jerk, decisions. Try to understand people who think differently than you do. Accept complexity and have the patience to wait for a solution to present itself. Listen deeply for the hidden meaning in what people say to you.

4. Eschew fear-based decision-making.
Learn to be a non-anxious presence – a presence that does not get sucked into negative emotions, judgments or worry. Do not wrap a blanket of fear and limited thinking around you. Instead, be positive and forward-looking, expecting the best from people and situations. Before making a decision, ask yourself, what would be the most compassionate response to this dilemma? What would Jesus – or Buddha, Moses, Gandhi, Mother Theresa (fill in your compassionate role model’s name here) – do in this situation? What can I do to serve the greater good?

5. Think globally, act locally – in that order.
Transformational leaders are always looking at the BIG big picture. They not only consider the welfare of their team and their company, but they include the welfare of all stakeholders, the community and the next generation. These are the people who are looking to leave a legacy of compassion, enduring values and innovation in their organizations. They think of the big picture, then act locally in a way that serves the common good. Questions to ask yourself are: How can I act in a way that serves the common good? How can I transcend my own self-interest in order to create something that will outlast my lifetime?

Transformational leadership begins on the inside, with your heart, mind, body and human spirit. You, too, can become a transformational leader!

With the Forgiveness and Emotional Release Telesummit coming up the first week in August, some of my guest speakers are jumping in on the Virtual Book Tour.

Pamela Bruner, a Success Coach, Certified Firewalk Instructor, and Certified EFT Practitioner, helps coaches, consultants and healing practitioners create thriving businesses to better serve the world. Last week she included an article of mine in her ezine and posted a review of A Forgiveness Journal on her blog. For the telesummit, she’ll be talking about how EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can help you with forgiveness.

Marilyn Foreman, a parenting facilitator, teacher, speaker, and author of KidBits: Inspiration for Parents, advocated A Forgiveness Journal as a useful tool in creating better parent/child relationships on her blog, Thoughts from Marilyn. She will be talking with me about Forgiveness and the Parent/Child Relationship during the Telesummit.

This week, my virtual book tour continues with a “stop” at Carol Merlo’s health and wellness blog. She reviewed A Forgiveness Journal and even called it “A Must Read”! You can check out her review at theeightkeystowellness.com.

As my virtual book tour starts to pick up steam, I’ve had the opportunity to “stop” by a couple of blogs this week.

The first was at the Keener Financial Planning blog, where Jean Keener talked about how forgiveness can help you with your financial life, especially in this down economy. My article, Forgiveness: 5 Reasons It’s Good for You was also posted to the blog.

Then, today, my pastor posted a review of my book at the Sunflower Chalice blog.

This past week, I stopped by the Planting God Communities blog managed by Rev. Ron Robinson. His post talked about Letting Go of the Past, Forgiveness, and Planting. He even talked about William Faulkner! Good company to be in, I think.

The virtual book tour for my new book, A Forgiveness Journal: Letting Go of the Past, is now underway. Last week, I “stopped by” The Women’s Business Gallery. Carma Spence-Pothitt, the owner of the site, promoted my book and discussed how forgiveness can help you break through barriers that might be holding you back in your business.

You can see that the stops on my tour are starting to fill in. They are regularly updated on my official Virtual Book Tour page, as well as in the sidebar of this website.

If you would like to participate in the tour … there are some perks, including the chance to win a copy of my book, as well as being spotlighted on my webistes … just contact my assistants at info@brioleadership.com.