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How Conflict Management – or lack thereof – affects company growth

9/29/2014

2 Comments

 
Conflict Management can affect company culture
In any business, there will be conflict, period. As a leader, you must deal with conflict, either your own or that of your employees, rather than ignore it. In a family-owned business, there is a heightened potential for conflict, especially between family members working in the business. In any conflict — but especially between family members — the presenting issue is rarely the real cause of the fight. Rather, it is what happened months, years, or decades ago in the family or organizational system that triggers the upset. And the upset or reaction is usually out of proportion to the offence of the moment.
A company is a human system much like a family, except not everyone is related. Just as intractable conflict can sever loving ties within a family, causing divorce or estrangement, so can poorly managed conflict tear apart the fabric of a company. The effectiveness of your ability to manage conflict within your company is directly related to the profitability of your company. It’s simple – poorly managed or out-of-control conflict equals lower profits. This is because the emotional tone of a workplace is a key determinant of the culture of your company. 

Emotional tone is set at the top. Leaders in every company must deal with conflict between employees before it escalates. If conflict is not managed, you can expect low morale, low employee engagement, reduced productivity, and high attrition of key employees. And, if leaders are themselves involved in conflict or display emotional volatility, expect heightened negative consequences.

As an executive coach, I tell my clients they can lose their temper and express their anger only once a year – and then only if they are highly provoked. More frequent emotional outbursts from the boss create an unstable working environment. All eyes are on the leaders, just as a small child watches his or her parents for emotional queues on how to react. My colleague, Susan Steinbrecher of Steinbrecher & Associates, says that leaders are like goldfish in a glass bowl – every move is visible and magnified to the viewers. If you lose your temper often, you will create a “tall tulip” environment in which no employee 
wants to lose their heads, figuratively, by standing out or taking a risk. You will teach helplessness and mediocrity to your employees as they cower in fear of attracting the boss’ anger.

First rule: learn to manage your own conflict and anger. Are you facing a volatile situation? Walk away from it, count to ten and/or sleep on it. In the morning, cool heads will prevail and you’ll be able to handle the situation without saying or doing something you regret. Engage an executive coach who will help you examine the roots of and triggers for your anger and design strategies to defuse it.

Then, if you observe conflict among workers, know that it is your duty to help them understand and work around it. Invite the offending parties into your office and ask each person to do the following:


  • Describe the situation from a newspaper reporter’s viewpoint. Only the facts.
  • Describe how you feel about it. Use "I" statements, as in "When that happens, I feel mad." Do not use "you" statements, as in "You make me furious."
  • Identify what your unmet need is. All humans have similar needs. In the workplace, the needs that are commonly unmet are respect, fairness and belonging. A list of common human needs can be found at the Center for NonViolent Communication website.
  • Once both parties have expressed their feelings and their needs, ask each of them to make a request of the other party. For example, “In the future, I’d like to ask you to put back my tools after you use them. Can you do that, please?” As the boss, help each person negotiate their requests. 
  • Then ask the parties how they will hold each other accountable to their requests. As the boss, you may need to help them do so, perhaps by offering your office as a neutral space to further talk about the situation. 

Lastly, as a leader, create a work environment in which people assume benign intent. That means that when a coworker irritates you, you don’t jump to a conclusion that they are out to get you, but that there is a reasonable explanation for the irritating behavior. A leader must model this behavior by checking facts, for example, before holding an employee accountable. A good way to do this is to ask the employee for their perspective on what happened. For example, a worker delivers a report a day past the deadline. Rather than assuming anything, the wise manager approaches the worker and asks why the report was completed today rather than yesterday. You might find that you never communicated a deadline, so the employee thought she was doing fine.

Conflict is inevitable, but decreased productivity due to conflict is not inevitable if you handle it well!

​Kristin Robertson, CEO of Brio Leadership, is dedicated to increasing the number of employees who are excited to go to work on Monday mornings.  Services include executive coaching, leadership development classes and company culture consulting.  Don’t forget to get a copy of Kristin Robertson’s new book, Your Company Culture Ecosystem, available on Amazon.
​
2 Comments
Cindy Martinez
10/2/2014 03:57:53 am

Kristen, I am in the middle of conflict at my office now. I feel like several coworkers retaliated against me after I reported to management about violations of company policy. After I reported this, they began 'freezing' me out by ignoring me, whispering constantly and even went to management to tell them I said many things about them. None of which are true. I've met with management multiple times to ask them for a sit down meeting with all of them so we could address the issues.

I was told by management several times that this is not going to happen that I just need to remain professional, don't speak to them and don't try to engage them or reconcile with them.

I feel like this is the wrong approach as I know that ignoring issues is not the answer. THe only way for true reconciliation and understanding is to address the issues in a professional manner. As you state in your article it has caused division, low moral and an all around uncomfortable tone in the office.

What would you recommend I do at this point?

Reply
Kristin Robertson link
10/2/2014 06:15:52 am

Hi Cindy, You are right - you are being retaliated against because you spoke up. You say you've gone to management and have you spoken to your HR representative (if you have one)? Why does management want you to ignore them - is there are compliance issue involved?

At the end of the day, you are going to have to communicate with the offenders and exchange information about your and their feelings, needs and requests. Can you invite them to lunch offsite so it's on neutral territory.

Low morale affects productivity, so I'm surprised that management won't get involved. I'm sad for you that you are in this terrible position.
Have you dusted off your resume?

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